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| Do not see this movie. |
There are bad movies that quickly fade from your memory, movies that are simply filed under the Forgettable Movies Folder. But there are bad movies that you will always remember. And one of them is No Strings Attached.
Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher are oddly paired up in this very confused romantic comedy about friends. With benefits. Yup, no romance. Just sex. Just like Timberlake and Kunis' Friends with Benefits.
Natalie, whose head is strangely too big in this movie (literally) plays a neurotic MD who is emotionally messed up and terrified of commitments (it makes her throat constrict or something) while Kutcher plays her lovestruck sex buddy, who follows Natalie like a lost puppy, hoping for a real romantic relationship.
Natalie, whose head is strangely too big in this movie (literally) plays a neurotic MD who is emotionally messed up and terrified of commitments (it makes her throat constrict or something) while Kutcher plays her lovestruck sex buddy, who follows Natalie like a lost puppy, hoping for a real romantic relationship.
So what makes No Strings Attached an unforgettably bad movie? Weird casting, confused genre, totally off music, desperate humor, and badly written story. The film markets itself as a romantic comedy, but the movie is as messed up and confused as it characters, inserting melancholy music (as if someone is dying) in comedic moments, or humor that simply pops up in unexpected scenes...in a bad way. Kuchter is anything but funny. Instead, in this comedy, he is a serious lovelorn character, devoid of sense of humor, as if he were acting out a script of a heavy drama rather than a comedy. And Portman's character does not match her somber, serious drama-face, her playful antics will make you look away in embarrassment.
And the story, my goodness. Not only is it confused, it's pretentious and trite, with scenes desperate for laughs, desperate for approval, and trying too hard to be cute and un-cliche-ish, embarrassingly pointing to itself, saying, "I'm so funny, this is your cue to laugh! Ha! Ha!" "Look, we are so original we thought of a period (i.e., menstruation) mix!" Enter music: Leona Lewis' "Bleeding in Love."
No Strings Attached is one of those films that makes me a bit angry because it's pretentious and incredibly bad, like an insult.
0 out of 5 stars
No Strings Attached is one of those films that makes me a bit angry because it's pretentious and incredibly bad, like an insult.
0 out of 5 stars
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