The Logic of The Tuscani: Dissecting The Four Flavors

Supremo, Premium All-Meat, 3-Cheese Bacon and Spinach, 4-Cheese Lasagna

Haven't tried Pizza Hut's Tuscani pizza? It's basically thin, chewy, and bigger. Therefore, richer and more filling. 

December 17, 2011
Tasting my fourth Tuscani pizza: 4-Cheese Lasagna.

When I bit into the pizza, I was shocked and momentarily confused. I was sure I was eating a pizza. Yes, I was using a fork because it was piping hot! But I might as well be eating a plate of lasagna. 

My heart sank. I was craving pizza, not lasagna. 

And I felt foolish for ordering a lasagna-flavored pizza.

The Tuscani 4 Cheese Lasagna flavor was perfectly lasagna, deliciously lasagna...with four cheeses: Parmesan, cheddar, mozzarella and cream cheese. Still, it's 100% lasagna. And it had an odd effect: Your eyes land on a familiar triangular piece and your brain signals "pizza." Then your taste buds, once they chew on the pizza, send a message to the brain, "Lasagna! Lasagna!" It's a disorienting, unpleasant feeling. I love lasagna, don't get me wrong, but I wanted pizza that night. I mean, if I wanted lasagna, there's one on the menu. Why order pizza when you specifically wanted to eat lasagna? 

And so I forked the lasagna pizza down to its chewy crumbs, and I was immediately full. One heavy slice already felt like a single order of lasagna. Anyway, despite the fullness, there was a horrible triangular-shaped hollowness in my brain wanting to be filled; like a missing piece of a puzzle-dinner.  The pizza, of course. And so I grabbed a slice of my free classic bacon and pepperoni pan pizza, courtesy of my Palm Card; thick-crust, tomato sauce, chewy mozzarella cheese, topped with pepperoni and bacon, and instantly I was in pizza heaven. "Now, this is pizza!"

So if you are craving pizza, the traditional pizza, don't grab a lasagna-flavored pizza...unless you want a slice of lasagna in your hands. 

4-Cheese Lasagna Tuscani. Tastes like, surprise, surprise! lasagna.

Rating:

Tuscani 4-Cheese Lasagna: 5/5 for hitting that perfect lasagna taste; 0/5 for the pizza experience.

Two more Tuscani flavors to go, but I'm stopping on my fourth Tuscani flavor and will revert to Supremo, the ultimate pizza experience.  (If I want gourmet BBQ chicken or roast-beef, it doesn't have to be in the form of pizza.) The next time I'm in the mood for pizza, I'll go for  Supremo Tuscani, the traditional Italian pizza, but richer and fuller, with nine toppings of beef, black olives with garlic and olive oil roasted bell peppers, Italian sausage, mozzarella cheese, onions, parmesan, pepperoni, and smoked ham, on a bed of premium tomato sauce. Now that's what I call the perfect pizza. Or I can go for my second favorite, the Premium All-Meat, which also offers full pizza experience, with lots of bacon, beef, Italian sausage, pepperoni, salami, and smoked ham on a layer of mozzarella and Parmesan cheese and premium tomato sauce.

I won't even bother going back to the 3-Cheese Bacon and Spinach flavor, a popular choice and beauty queen Shamcey Supsup's favorite (read my pizza day with Ms. Supsup):  gourmet pizza, with spinach, bacon with bechamel sauce, layered with three different cheeses - parmesan, cheddar, and mozzarella. The first bite is an explosion of three distinct cheeses...melting in your mouth all at the same time. It's exquisite, like cheese heaven, but it's still not pizza for me. Again, the unpleasant emptiness, yearning for the full pizza experience.

1) Supremo 2) Premium All-Meat 3) 3-Cheese Bacon and Spinach, in order of my preference.

So the Tuscani line delivered its promise: each flavor perfectly tastes like its title, and they are all fresh, hot, rich, thin and chewy, and big and filling. 

It's just up to you now what you want to eat out of your hand.

Now, on to my one-week zero-carb diet.

Pizza photographs: mine.