REVIEW | Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)




The concept that the 16th American president was a vampire hunter is already a dubious entertainment material-- if not laughable. Especially when the story is delivered in a serious, historical manner. But the novel, on which this movie is based, has actually garnered positive reviews-- and followers. And with Tim Burton producing the movie version, I guess no one should underestimate the power of imagination and creativity and give this--*guffaws*--Abraham-Lincoln-with-a-secret-life-slaying-bloodsuckers a chance.

In Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, America is occupied by the living and the dead. Abe (Benjamin Walker) is confronted with this fact when he found out that it was actually a vampire that killed his mother. And so he not only becomes bent on ending slavery, but also becomes determined to avenge his mother's death and kill each and every vampire that exists in his beloved country. His determination of the latter comes true when he meets the mysterious Henry (Dominic Cooper), who trains him to become a vampire hunter. And so, like Clark Kent and Peter Parker, Abe also lives a double life-- store clerk and law student in the morning, superhero-vampire hunter at night. And if Thor wields a hammer, Abe kills the enemies with a silver-dipped axe.



Directed by Timur Bekmambetov (Wanted) and screenplay written by the author of the novel himself, Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter proves to be worse than what I expected. It offers nothing substantial. It feels like you're watching a  video game. No, actually, it feels like you're watching over the shoulder of a kid playing an unexciting kiddy vampire online game. That's how uninvolved you'd feel.

Bekmambetov has excessively used slo-mo effects and MTv-like choreography in the fight scenes, the black vampire blood and wooden splinters flying in 3D--sometimes obliterated by smoke and dust and in synced with a modern film score--which totally eliminates the scary factor. No build-up tension. No sense of raw horror and danger. Also, the unnecessary 3D effects make you all the more detached to what's going on. Yes, your eyes can comprehend a lot of action going on in the screen; all the flying, the magical axe in swift motion, the black top hat, and the cartoonish vampires baring their fangs pop-up style...but you won't feel a thing except why such a movie exists. 


No sense of history either. The historical and Lincoln biographical part of the movie is thinly told and so you won't get anything substantial out of it either-- the movie purely concentrates on the non-threatening presence of the vampires and Lincoln's boring face and boring axe flying everywhere.

To vampire fanatics looking for a delicious horror-scare at the cinema, I suggest you just watch some YouTube pop-up monster videos because they are waay scarier than this. Not to mention more fun. 

1 out of 5 stars

In Philippine theaters today, July 4, 2012

Comments

michymichymoo said…
Hmm. Might watch this...someday. Thanks for sharing!

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