REVIEW | Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

If you loved the Brothers Grimm fairy tale Hansel and Gretel as a child, then you might wanna know what happened fifteen years later after Gretel kicked the witch’s arse into the oven.

In MTV Films’ Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, we see the siblings, played by Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton, all grown up and earning their living as witch hunters in the small German town of Augsburg. And they’re good at it, despite Hansel being a diabetic (remember the witch in the gingerbread house had fatten him up?). Hansel and Gretel are ruthless and fearless, eliminating evil witches with their guns and explosives and clever weapons, while cussing sharply, dropping f-words here and there. They are awfully smug, too, because they are, for some mysterious reason, invincible—spells and curses seem to bounce off of them. But when they finally find themselves faced against Muriel (Famke Janssen), the most evil sorceress of them all, it's proving to be a rather difficult challenge.

This action-horror, directed by Tommy Wirkola and released in IMAX 3D format, is one gory feast. Immediately, with all the macho guns and weapons and the cuss words, you see that it’s trying to come off as a cool spin to the famous fairy tale. But the movie is just one killing spree, like watching a video game. The characters are flat and underdeveloped; and aside from some interesting revelation about the siblings’ history, there is nothing much to the narrative -- Hansel and Gretel just killing witches until they’re faced against the most powerful witch in town. And so all there is to experience in this movie is gore. The witches look fascinating though as artfully designed monsters.

So if you’re into these kinds of action-horror flicks reminiscent of Van Helsing, or you’re simply a gore fan, or you have a crush on Jeremy Renner, you just might enjoy it-- In 3D-IMAX for a full,  maximum bloody experience. It was kind of fun dodging bullets and blood splatter. However, this is an R-rated film due to its bloody violence, profanity, and some nudity, so don’t bring your small kids with you. This is surely not that kind of fairy tale.

2 out of 5 stars

In Philippine theaters January 23, 2013. Also in IMAX-3D